9) Reservoir Dogs – Quentin Tarantino (1992) – The only things I wanted when I saw this film was for Mr. Orange to pull through and for Mr. Pink & Mr. White to find a way to get out of this mess with their hard-earned bag of diamonds. Mr. Blonde, Joe and Nice Guy Eddie, who really cares about them? I just like to tell myself Mr. Pink, in all the shouting and gunshots we hear at the end, managed to blast his way through the cops and get away. Probably not, but still.
8) 2,000 Maniacs – Herschell Gordon Lewis (1964) – They’re sadistic, they’re evil and they’re southern, but they are just so damn happy to be killing people, you just want to laugh along with their sick glee. And they dispatch our heroes in such inventive ways, too! (The remake is also more than worth checking out.)
7) Serial Mom – John Waters (1994) – Come on, she’s just a protective mother. Somebody hurts her little girl, so she impales him with a fireplace poker and removes his liver. It’s more than fair. Besides, how can you not love a woman who makes prank calls with such a dirty mouth? If only she had gotten her hands on Suzanne Somers in the end.
6) Heavenly Creatures – Peter Jackson (1994) – The first two acts of this movie achieve such a sense of wonder and create such a believable bond between these two girls that even when they turn to murder, we don’t want them split up.
5) Deconstructing Harry – Woody Allen (1997) – This one is an unusual choice. Horror movie villain? No. Bad guy? The worst kind. Everything Harry Block touches turns sour. He’s a horrible person and he admits it freely. But every time someone yells at him or calls him on his awful, selfish behavior, I kind of want them to back off the poor guy. We’re alone in the universe, are you going to blame that on him, too?
4) Scream – Wes Craven (1997) – Officially, I don’t really think of this as a good movie and Skeet is just awful. But tell me the first time you saw this movie, you didn’t want Matthew Lillard’s bug-eyed freakazoid to win the day. I actually left the theater pissed off because the good guys won.
3) Sin City - Robert Rodriguez (2005) – Hell, there aren’t any good guys to root for here. Especially Marv. He’s one of the most brutal thugs in film history, but he has a moral code of his own. If you end up on the wrong side of his fist, you probably have it coming. “I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad.” The man loves inflicting pain, but he knows the difference between right and wrong and that just makes you want to give the giant ugly son-of-a-bitch a cuddle.
2) Arsenic and Old Lace – Frank Capra (1944) – Two compassionate old ladies euthanizing strangers, offering the ultimate cure for their loneliness. I have seen this movie countless times and laugh my ass off every time I watch it. You adore the two balls-out insane old women with Teddy Roosevelt burying ‘yellow fever’ victims.